I know I have written about this before and I am pretty certain that I will again. This marks my second Mother’s Day without my Mom. If you’ve lost your mother then you know how painful that whole experience can be. While it does get a little better in time, missing her never stops. Mothers are some of the strongest people in this world. They care for us in ways that no one else does and they are here for us no matter what the world throws our way. Even when we’re messing up, they stick by our sides and help us through it all. The love a mother has for her son or daughter is like nothing else and truly does carry on long after one or the other has passed. Your mother is the first person you experience in this world because you live inside of her for so long and spend so much time with her once you’re born. She is your safety blanket, your biggest fan, and the person who will never forget you.
When you came into your mother’s life everything changed for her. She never thought she would be able to love someone as much as she does you and now that she’s no longer with you, you feel incomplete. Whether you spent every day with her in the end or didn’t get the chance to say goodbye, you’re never going to be the same again. The more active your mom was in your life, the worse off things will be once she’s gone. When you lose your mother you feel like you’re no longer the same person. You ache to your core and it’s almost as if the world itself is crashing down. Losing your mom is not something that is easy to explain, in regards to emotions, and that in many ways is why it’s so hard to explain. Nothing in this life can prepare you for the loss of your mother. She has been there by your side ever since the very first time you took a breath in this world and that is why the pain her absence leaves is so excruciating. Sure, as the days pass you’ll be more capable of functioning but that doesn’t mean you’ll ever get back to ‘normal.’
The reality of losing your mother is so much more than loss it’s like we too die with her but it is a pain that we in this life have to face at some point. After Mom died, I tried to push away the grief. Any time I felt like falling apart, I would take deep breaths and get busy with something else. This worked for a little while, but not for long. The pain was not going away, and I needed to feel it. One night, a few months after Mom’s death, I was sitting and thinking about her, I felt like my chest was going to explode. I knew what it was, but was trying to ignore it. You see, grief is a very physical thing. You literally feel physical pain. I finally couldn’t take it anymore, and I curled up on the floor sobbing uncontrollably. After that night, I learned to allow myself to feel the pain. I didn’t ignore it anymore.
The pain that comes with losing your mom is truly just as terrible as described above. You will find yourself curled up in the fetal position wondering how you’ll ever be able to continue on in life without her. You will be unable to ignore the devastation going on within and through losing her you will in all possible ways lose a part of yourself as well.
It will take time to get back to any real kind of routine and you will need a break from everything. If you’ve lost your mother, whether it was recent or years ago please know that I understand what you’re still facing even now. Your mother loved you very much and she doesn’t want you to feel as though moving forward is impossible. She would, if able to speak to you, tell you that you deserve to be happy whether she’s here on this planet or not. We all heal on our own time and even if you’ll never be the same, it will get better.
Happy Mother’s Day in Heaven Mom. I will love you forever and miss you for always.