Tammy Talk

A Must Read …

This is a must read for my guy friends .. but ladies, you need to read this too!

I know you love her.  Nonetheless, I hope you try to love her right.  I hope you cast every ray of awareness upon your love for her.  I hope you know that awareness is what keeps a relationship strong.

And what floored you the most was her completeness.

If you love her, keep her this way.  Keep her beautiful, keep her wild, keep her complete.  While she’s the master of her own fate, I wish you understood that you play a major role in her life.  How you treat her determines how she views herself – you can make her shine or make her feel lost.  She’s a statue in your hands and she only hopes to be held with vigilance.

If you love her, don’t destroy her.  Know that she was destroyed before and another destruction isn’t what she’s aiming for.  If she’s with you, know that she has stepped over her fear and insecurities to be with you.  She has stepped over her past and decided to give love another chance.  She has entrusted you with the health of this relationship – and with her heart.

Don’t let her down.

You destroy her the moment you think you know her.  She’s not a book you will eventually finish.  She’s something yet to be discovered – so live every day as if you’re meeting her for the first time.

Be present.  Nothing destroys her more than your emotional absence.  You can sit with her all day long and not really be there, yet you can be so far away and be completely present.  Stimulate her thoughts, her emotions, her being.  Dive into her soul like you’d dive into an ocean.

Know that you’ll wreck her if she ever felt you need her rather than want her.  You’ll destroy every inch of her if you only love her when loneliness creeps up on you.  Because she seeks your love in all moments, not just when your fears and insecurities strike.

I know that your own past sufferings may have destroyed you.  But don’t love her just so she can carry your emotional baggage with you.  Don’t love her if you only want her to fix you.  Know that she will, with time, without you even knowing.

Her love and existence will heal every part of you.  But if you are with her solely to fill the emptiness inside you, she will know – and it will destroy her.

And remember, she doesn’t want to be fixed either.  Maybe she opened up to you and told you about her painful past. Perhaps you know the exact number of pieces she was turned into.  But she didn’t tell you so you would fix her – she only told you so you can know what she endured and how it made her who she is today.

She wants you to acknowledge that your actions toward her – actions motivated by love, understanding and patience, are what matter most.

Don’t treat her like a broken woman.  She is complete with all her pieces, even though they may still be scattered everywhere.  Embrace them with her – just don’t add to them. Make her see why she went through destructive relationships in the past.  Make her realize that she went through the “worst” so she could appreciate the “better” that you are.

If you love her, love her with all her flaws and insecurities.  She is as imperfect as you are and she only hopes to share that imperfection with you.  She wants to undress her soul in front of you and be utterly herself.  She wants to be the same way with you that she is in the mirror – crazy, wild and free.  If you’re not ready to accept her as she is, you will destroy her.

If you love her, build her up because she will be doing the same for you.  Know that whatever effort you put in, she will be putting in double.

If you show her the moon, she’ll show you the entire galaxy.  If you treat her right, she’ll love you more.  If you love her well, she’ll never forget you!


  1. Janett Kerievsky

    This is beautiful Tammy !

    • tammyeger

      I truly appreciate your feedback, Janett. Thank you for reading!!

  2. Mariela

    Omg, this is beautiful. I may have shed a tear or two. A man just lost me because of his insecurities and it’s so sad.

    • tammyeger

      Hi Mariela,

      Thank you for reading. I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Perhaps, down the road, he will realize and the two of you will be able to reconcile. If not, it just wasn’t meant to be and all you can do is keep on moving forward. I do believe in second chances and you can read my latest piece right here. Best wishes to you .. and I hope you continue to follow me.


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